21 Nov 2018 Finding Faith for a Harmonious Family
Yau Hon Tak, Sean
Young Men Division Chapter Leader
I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism by one of my colleagues, Eric, in 2009, when I was struggling with work. Little did I realise then the significance of this religion for me and my family.
I grew up in a family with constant quarrelling at home; screams and yells were everyday affairs. Unconsciously, I developed a fundamental darkness—insecurity and fear of conflicts. I also grew distant from the rest of my family members and an invisible wall separated me and my parents.
I married a lady a couple of years after I started work. The marriage appeared to be a perfect bliss. We never quarrelled or argued over a single thing. However, both of us were actually bottling up our disappointment towards each other daily. The day came when my wife sounded her intention for a divorce.
After pouring my woes to my seniors in faith, they asked me a fundamental question—what am I looking for in a relationship? This struck me deep.
It had never crossed my mind to chant for my marriage or family’s happiness! I had believed the cause of my suffering as something external rather than something fundamentally inside me—my relationship karma.
Breaking this news to my parents, especially my mum, was one of the biggest challenges. One morning after chanting many hours of daimoku (the chanting of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo), I plucked up the courage to break the news to my mum. Strangely, before I could even utter a word, my mum warmly asked how my relationship was. She went on to say that she would support any decision I make even if it meant a divorce.
I remembered crying hard that day. The wall that had separated my mum and me crumbled.
The divorce proceeding lasted for two-and-a half years. Through fervent prayers, my ex-wife agreed to assigned 100% ownership of our apartment to me with no extra cost. She also agreed on the separation with no alimony. The greatest victory for me, however, was that both of us remained amicable as friends.
This experience helped me breakthrough my lesser self and my family to forge a stronger bond. I am now actively participating in SSA activities and will continue to work on my human revolution so as to spread joy to others too.
(Adapted from the Young Men Division’s testimony book Hero of the World)